Self-Esteem Therapy
You’re thoughtful, capable, and maybe even the one other people turn to for advice—but when it comes to love and connection, it can feel confusing and vulnerable in ways that are hard to explain.
You might find yourself second-guessing whether you’re truly lovable, or if the right relationship is even possible for you. You may crave closeness but question if others really care, or worry that you’re too much—or not enough—to be loved the way you hope to be. Sometimes, you get stuck in your head, analyzing every interaction or wondering if you’ve done something wrong.
Or maybe you tend to avoid relationships altogether—not because you don’t want them, but because you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or let down before. It feels safer to stay guarded than to risk choosing the wrong person or losing yourself in another painful dynamic. Part of you wants connection, but another part isn’t sure how to trust others—or yourself—in that space.
You may struggle with boundaries, people-pleasing, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. Over time, this can leave you feeling resentful or disconnected from your own needs. You might also find it hard to speak up until you’ve reached a breaking point and then feel guilt or shame for how it came out.
Sometimes you wonder if your history—what you went through growing up or in past relationships—is still shaping how you show up now. You’re tired of repeating the same patterns, but are also unsure of how to fully shift out of them.
If you can relate to any of this, you are not alone.
Even the most capable, driven people can carry a quiet sense of self-doubt—especially if they’ve experienced childhood trauma or have been in relationships where their needs weren’t honored. You might look put-together on the outside, but still wrestle with a part of you that feels not quite good enough, too much, or hard to love. That can be an isolating experience—especially when others assume you have it all figured out.
What I’ve seen time and again, both in my own healing and with clients, is that when these patterns are given a safe place to be explored—not judged or fixed, but truly understood—they start to loosen their grip. Therapy can help you reconnect with your worth, soften the inner critic, and develop more self-trust, especially in relationships. You can learn to set boundaries that feel good, respond to triggers with compassion, and stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace.
You may not fully believe yet that this kind of shift is possible—but that’s okay. You don’t have to get there alone. It starts with being seen in the places you’ve long kept hidden—and discovering you’re not too much, not broken, and not behind. Just human—and worthy of love that feels safe, mutual, and true.
Strong self-worth builds strong relationships
FAQ
How can therapy help me improve my self-esteem?
Through exploring your negative self-talk and what is at the root, we can begin to put such thoughts under a microscope and together identify more balanced, accurate ways of looking at yourself. Sometimes this is achieved through more typical back and forth talk therapy and other times interventions designed to help you dig deeper are needed. For example, Internal Family Systems (IFS) or parts work therapy can help you distinguish between parts of yourself that carry pain from the past and parts of yourself that feel more grounded and whole. Through doing this, we can work through the pain from your past while also recognizing you at the core are not in those past events anymore. EMDR therapy can also be used to help you process at a deeper level and get past mental barriers keeping you in the same negative thought patterns. See the IFS-informed EMDR page for further information and also check out the IFS Institute’s website here.
My childhood and former relationships are in the past, why do they affect me so much?
Trauma experienced through our relationships with caregivers and romantic partners leaves a profound impact on us. Such trauma can affect our ability to trust, be vulnerable and give and receive love. As social beings we have a fundamental human need for connection to others. This is part of what can make experiencing childhood and relationship trauma so impactful on your life. You cannot completely avoid your need for connection and acceptance, so you are left to repeatedly be exposed to scenarios that may trigger you to think of the past trauma you have experienced.
I have felt this way for so long, how is it possible I can feel differently about myself?
People who struggle with their self-esteem have often had negative thoughts about themselves on repeat for years and in some cases most of their lives. It is a complex, challenging task to change the inaccurate, overly critical narratives you have about yourself into more balanced ones. This is why it helps to work with a trained therapist. You do not have to go through this alone. Contact me today to get started and no longer carry this heavy burden on your own.
