Carmel Self-Esteem Therapy
You’re thoughtful, capable, and maybe even the one other people turn to for advice—but when it comes to love and connection, it can feel confusing and vulnerable in ways that are hard to explain.
You might find yourself second-guessing whether you’re truly lovable, or if the right relationship is even possible for you. You may crave closeness but question if others really care, or worry that you’re too much—or not enough—to be loved the way you hope to be. Sometimes, you get stuck in your head, analyzing every interaction or wondering if you’ve done something wrong.
Or maybe you tend to avoid relationships altogether—not because you don’t want them, but because you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or let down before. It feels safer to stay guarded than to risk choosing the wrong person or losing yourself in another painful dynamic. Part of you wants connection, but another part isn’t sure how to trust others—or yourself—in that space.
You may struggle with boundaries, people-pleasing, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. Over time, this can leave you feeling resentful or disconnected from your own needs. You might also find it hard to speak up until you’ve reached a breaking point and then feel guilt or shame for how it came out.
Sometimes you wonder if your history—what you went through growing up or in past relationships—is still shaping how you show up now. You’re tired of repeating the same patterns, but are also unsure of how to fully shift out of them.
If you can relate to any of this, you are not alone.
Even the most capable, outwardly successful people can carry a quiet sense of self-doubt—especially if they’ve experienced childhood trauma or been in relationships where their needs weren’t fully honored. You might look put-together on the outside yet still wrestle with a part of you that feels not quite good enough, too much, or hard to love. That can feel isolating—especially when others assume you have it all figured out.
Through therapy, patterns like these can be explored in a safe, non-judgmental space. Rather than trying to “fix” yourself, the goal is to understand these parts of you and how they influence your self-esteem, body image, and relationships. While individual results can vary, therapy can support you in reconnecting with your worth, softening the inner critic, building self-trust, and exploring ways to set boundaries and respond to triggers with more compassion.
You may not fully believe yet that this kind of shift is possible—and that’s okay. You don’t have to go through it alone. It starts with being seen in the places you’ve long kept hidden, and discovering that you’re not too much, not broken, and not behind—simply human, and worthy of love that feels safe, mutual, and authentic.
When you feel worthy, deeper connection becomes possible
FAQ
How can therapy help me improve my self-esteem and body image?
Therapy can help you understand where negative self-talk developed and why it has been so persistent. By gently examining these inner narratives together, we can begin to loosen overly critical beliefs and make room for more balanced, compassionate ways of relating to yourself.
Sometimes this work happens through reflective conversation, and at other times through approaches that help you access deeper emotional and nervous system patterns. Internal Family Systems (IFS), or parts work, can help you recognize aspects of yourself that carry pain or self-judgment from earlier experiences, while also strengthening the parts of you that feel grounded, present, and whole.
EMDR therapy may also be used to process experiences that continue to influence how you see yourself, allowing old patterns to soften rather than repeat. Over time, this work supports a more stable sense of self-worth and a kinder relationship with your body—rooted in the present rather than the past. See the IFS-informed EMDR page for further information and also check out the IFS Institute’s website here.
Why do my childhood and past relationships continue to affect how I feel about myself?
Experiences in childhood and earlier relationships don’t simply disappear with time. They help shape how you see yourself, what you expect from others, and how safe you feel taking up space in the world. When those experiences involved criticism, inconsistency, or emotional injury, they can quietly influence self-worth and confidence long past childhood and after former relationships have ended.
Because humans are wired for connection and belonging, the mind and nervous system remain alert to cues that resemble earlier hurt. This can lead to patterns of self-doubt, people-pleasing, or harsh self-judgment—not because something is wrong with you, but because your system learned certain strategies to protect you.
Healing self-esteem involves understanding how these early experiences shaped your inner relationship with yourself, and developing new ways of relating that support steadiness, compassion, and self-trust in the present.
I have felt this way for so long, how is it possible I can feel differently about myself?
When self-critical beliefs have been present for years, they can feel like facts rather than learned responses. But these beliefs didn’t appear out of nowhere—they developed in response to experiences, relationships, and environments that shaped how you learned to relate to yourself.
Because these patterns are held not just in thoughts, but in the nervous system and emotional memory, change often happens through new experiences of safety, understanding, and compassion—rather than through positive thinking alone.
With support, it becomes possible to loosen the grip of old narratives and develop a steadier, more kind relationship with yourself. Feeling differently isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about reconnecting with parts of you that were overshadowed by years of self-protection. Contact me today to explore support and begin working toward relief from these longstanding patterns.
